Friday, June 17, 2005

This proves my point

Neal Stephenson's comments on Star Wars: III support my point that the film would have been better without dialog.

First, Lucas can't write believable dialog. He's been living in Marin County too long. That shot of Darth Vader shouting "Noooooooo!" was an embarrassment for James Earle Jones. I hope he demanded a bonus.

Second, as Stephenson notes, there is so much background that has been developed in other media, cartoons and novels, that if you hadn't prepared extensively, you wouldn't be able to figure out who's who. The complex interplay of various trading federations, clone armies, republicans and rebel groups that has grown up requires too much explication for non-Star Wars geeks to make the film watchable, yet if he hadn't kept the whole picture accurate, he'd have been roasted by those same geeks. The only way out is to have a narrator, because you can't have real people saying things like "Obi-wan, we want you to head the mission to rescue Senator Palpatine, who is being held hostage by the droid general, Grievous, backed by his army of trader federation rebels who are trying to overthrow the Republic. But don't take your illegal padawan, Anakin Skywalker. We couldn't stop him from being made a member of the Jedi council, despite his lack of experience and inability to control his impulses. Besides we suspect that he has violated the Jedi rule of celibacy, with Padmé, who seem to be sharing lavish quarters here in the capital, but we're unable to use the Force to tell for sure. We don't trust Skywalker, but we want you to enlist him to spy on Palpatine after you rescue him, because we don't trust Palpatine either. There is some kind of disturbance in the Force, but we can't detect the dark Sith Lord when he's in our presence. We're confused, unsure and have broomsticks up our butts. Help us, Obi-wan!"

Third, the movie's main asset, it's action is slowed down and confused by the scenes with the Jedi council and between Anakin and Padmé, which only serve to remind us that this is nothing like the reality we Earthers understand. Lucas' understanding of politics is laughably elementary and paranoid. A narrator would make it more plausible. I nominate Dick Durbin.

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